Once seated in a booth for four, we received a plate of strawberries with honey and mascarpone. Le, my member friend, tells me this is not usual though, even for members. Our waitress offers to spew the verbal menu (no printed options makes sense since it’s movie theater dark but it’s on their website) or we could tell her what we like and she’ll recommend. I am always a fan of the latter route.

I like tart, so I’m given muddled berries with gin, over crushed ice. Caroline likes ginger. Anthony had read about their famous Penicilin, made with blended scotch, ginger, honey, and lemon. Le has one of his regulars. Every drink is well thought out, each with a different type of ice, glass, garnish, and mixing method. (No vodkas here.) There’s a fresh zing in most from either freshly squeezed citrus or ginger, or both. Each one undoubtedly an alcoholic drink. Don’t worry, I got home fine. Phew.

I went with two of my girlfriends: Jen, a private chef and food stylist, and Bianca, a sales exec and a former waitress, and between the three of us foodies, we were not impressed at all. (I’ll keep this short because I don’t have pictures.) The cocktails were out of balance, either too strong or overly acidic. Our waitress was very nice about having it fixed (but the “fixed” drinks weren’t much better).

The Scotch Egg is the one amazing item; we had two. I loved everything about it, the thin, but crisp coating and the tasty ground pork that wasn’t too densely packed yet stayed on perfectly. I loved breaking into it and watching the golden yolk run out, but not for too long, as I didn’t want to lose all the ooze. The curried mussel soup was tasty, but skimpy, with just two mussels. Beyond that, everything else was forgettable. There was a bread salad that scratched the insides of my mouth, a Skate and Potato Terrine that was way too salty (and not served with bread or anything to help), and a side of mushy cabbage. The quince tart was acceptable, but not exciting, just some fruit on puff pastry.

We stayed away from entrees because they were offensively expensive for bar food. We were really shocked that the cocktails were bad, literally bad. I’m disappointed that The Breslin didn’t live up to the hype. I’ll probably never eat there again, but I might grab a Scotch Egg to-go. You just might catch me on the subway with yolk dribbling down my chin.